You Be the Judge

I have tested my thoughts
And examined my heart in the night.
I have scrutinized myself
And found bounteous wrong.

I cannot believe what I am about to say.
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I found the Lord
On the Gadarene road:
He came over from Galilee

I watched from the hill
As I ate my lunch
And lounged in the shade of a tree
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You can drown
In a cup
Of water
I have
Heard it said

I reflect
On this truth
As the bucket
Weighs my arm
Before I bail
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What is the Kingdom of Heaven like?
To what may it be compared?

The Kingdom is a difficult knot
That may not be undone:
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Who is his mother?
Who are his brothers?
Who his father?

These call him insane
They wag the finger
And quote the psalm

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What do you feel, Mary? What runs through
Your mind when an unclean spirit leaves,
When a demon abandons its hold on a man?

     The void is more potent
     Than the power which flees

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Lamb it is
Yes lamb
I catch a scent
Also of fennel
Fennel and paprika
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I gazed at a candle through dark of night—
   ‘Twas a light of my own creation.
At first the flame surged high and strong,
   A flick’ring conflagration.

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    Dance for us, oh Lord
Step sprightly on the earth you wrought
    Lift your hands to the stars
To the lights you spread in the firmament
    Gird your loins and leap
Rise up to the tops of the trees you named
    Above the oaks of Mamre
Over the crowns of towering Lebanese cedar
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Did we not ascend to the hill with the Master?
Did we not stand in his holy presence?
But my hands are unclean and my heart is impure.
My lips are stained with falsehood, my vows with deceit.
This is the generation of those who seek him.
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