When life gives you words
make word salad.
~W. John McGregor
Croutons
1/2 French baguette Other 1/2 any nationality.
3 Tbsp olive oil Extra virgin (to assist).
1 tsp garlic Minced, as with words.
2 Tbsp Parmesan Capital. Just grate.
Dressing
Minced garlic cloves Two small, but not too small.
2 tsp Dijon Just the mustard, not the whole region.
1 tsp Worcestershire The bestershire the better.
2 tsp fresh lemon juice So fresh you should slap it.
1 1/2 tsp vinegar Red, red wine. Makes it feel so fine.
1/3 cup olive oil, extra virgin If you can find another.
1/2 tsp salt Sea, señor.
1/8 tsp pepper Gone to ground.
Greens Mix
1 large Romaine Lettuce, pray.
Fresh Parmesan Tonsured to suit.
Directions
Cube baguette, but not mathematically, for then it would be only 1/8 French, and we simply can’t have that. For authentic croutons, set cubes on a window sill in Provence for several days; alternately, bake. Drizzle with oil/garlic/Parmesan mix.
While waiting for the croutons to stale, either naturally or artificially, combine dressing ingredients in a Manufacture de Digoin poterie terrine (while Grandma’s old Tupperware will certainly do) and beat. You can’t beat it.
Shave that Parmesan, and shave it well, as you would any acolyte—being sure to clean the blade before using on the cheese. Shred the whole Romaine, never slice! (And just to be clear, we are talking here about food items here, not people.)
Combine the lettuce-shred with stale bread and dressing, top with the tonsured Parm, and dine—even, perhaps, with a fresh tonsured Parmesan acolyte.
Later, after the prolonged caesura… Well… If you can’t figure out what to do from here, I really can’t help you.