Whose Name I Wear

Lamb it is
Yes lamb
I catch a scent
Also of fennel
Fennel and paprika

My tears flow
And there is also
The odor of perfume
Of nard and precious
Oils which mingle
With my tears
My dark curls
Wet

Oh my love
You know me
Look on me now
And despise
Slander me
To your honorable guest
Have I not sinned
Enough to please you

Yes well you know me
How else could I have
Darkened your door
This sacred night

Does the teacher know
The things I do
For you
And for the other
Man in this room
Who breaks bread
With you
And dips lamb
In your dish
The man who shares
Your name
Your cup
Your woman
Your secret sin

You have both dipped
Deeply and far
Too often

Yes my tears flow
As I bathe
The teacher’s feet
As you have never
Bathed his
Or mine
Yes deign touch
All else
Save my feet

Oh this is a sweet
And bitterly pleasing
Sacrifice

I shall forgive you
As the teacher has forgiven
My surfeit of shame
His eyes tell me
I have sinned enough
For him

So I shall forgive you
Your deceit
Your holy hauteur
Your conviction
That there is a pure
Way to be puerile

Yes there is lamb
And you may eat
Let the fat and fennel
Dribble in your beard
As you gape
Dumbfounded
At this teacher
Who honors this whore
Above his host
Who has much
Too much
To learn

Yes I shall forgive you
When the tears
No longer fall
As I shall forgive the other
Simon too
The one the teacher calls
The rock

Whose name
Would he rather
Wear tonight
Do you think

Yours
Or mine
Or another’s